I have failed. I’m not going to be Mom of the Year again this year. Finally I am OK with that. When I was first divorced the guilt I had for tearing my child’s family apart made me too lenient.
I always excused bad behavior, blamed it on the divorce, gave in and looked the other way. No more. Now that my daughter is a teenager it is more important than ever to be her Mom and not her friend.
It is harder to be the bad guy now. The tears when she was 10 cleared much quicker than the sullen attitude of a teenager. My daughter gets angry and retreats to her room. I try not to be unreasonable, she is a good kid who really hasn’t given me any reason not to trust her judgment, but it isn’t always her judgment that causes worry. Unfortunately our teenagers come in to contact every day with people we know nothing about and they don’t always recognize the people who are not good for them.
So, I’m standing my ground, setting rules, establishing boundaries, insisting on such outdated things as curfews, not going to friends homes when their parents aren’t there, no drinking, no drugs and always being available by phone. My daughter bristles at these things sometimes, no one else has a curfew as early as she does, this friend can go here, and this friend can do that. Not my problem, as I tell her frequently, if I was their parent, but I’m not, I’m yours, these are the rules.
I worry that it will alienate her sometimes and then I remember, she will have lots of friends but only one Mom, and that’s my job.
In the words of every Mom before me, who also did not win Mom of the Year, you may hate me now, but one day you will understand and be grateful.