I lost my arm last week.
My third arm.
It was severed by the door to a third grade classroom.
Who knew the first day of school would turn me into an amputee?
My daughter and I shared an amazing summer together, but like all good things our season of fun has come to an end.
Our blissfully relaxed summer days have been replaced by a stringent school schedule. Our carefree morning strolls succeeded by a stressful morning commute featuring a frustrating intersection with a left turn light that allows exactly 1 1/2 cars to inch forward before turning red. And our barely-there bedtime routine obliterated by a whine-inducing homework/dinner/dishes/shower/sleep ritual.
We’re inseparable during the summer, me and my third arm; however, once the new school year starts my one-of- a-kind appendage falls off leaving me to reacclimate to life as a double-fisted doppelganger.
Fortunately, you don’t need two brains to remember the good times, and, boy, did we share a ton of those this summer.
My extra arm may be gone for seven hours each day, but her hilarious antics are forever seared in my memory. Here are just a few:
Me: Walks in on her while she’s mopping up water that overflowed from her Barbie Glam Pool.
Her: “Well, don’t just stand there!”
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Prepping for a summer Geography Bee.
Me: “What is the capital of New York?”
Her: “Albany”
Me: “What about Minnesota?”
Her: “St. Paul”
Me: “How about Colorado?”
Her: “Denver”
Me: “Capital of California?”
Her: “Sargento”
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Her: At dinner, slowly pushes plate still covered with ham and potatoes toward me and says, “I’m full.”
Me: “I don’t think so.”
Her: “Mommy, I can’t eat all that ham. I need to save room for dessert.”
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Her: Pointing to costumed Jelly Belly Man in the middle of a massive crowd at the State Fair and shouting: “Mommy, Mommy there he is! There he is!”
Me: “Where? I can’t see him.”
Her: “He’s right by the sky glider. Can’t you see him?
Me: “No.”
Her: “You need double glasses.”
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At bedtime on the night before the first day of school.
Me: “I’m sure going to miss you while you are at school tomorrow.”
Her: “Me too, but I always love you even when I don’t see you.”
Me: “I’ll try to remember that.”
Her: “Yes, put in in the ‘know’ department of your brain and always know that I love you.”
Actually, now that I think about it, my arm is just fine. It’s my heart that aches.