Open, Semi-Open or Closed Adoption part 4

I realize that some biological or adoptive parents want to keep the personal contact information private. Some fear the bond being too close between the biological parents that it may affect the bond between the adoptive family and the child. I do not want to say that would never happen because I suppose it could but I personally think if the child is loved by the adopted parents that the child would have the best of both worlds.

If the biological parent is well balanced, emotionally stable than the benefits of having some form of contact with the biological parents, adopted family and the child would be beneficial to all parties involved. I am not sure if I would personally ever have chosen an open adoption I think it would be too uncomfortable for me. Our kids all know they are adopted but I do not think at their ages that they need contact with their biological family. When they are older and can better deal with it then of course we would talk with them and make that decision from there.

At this point in time our kids have not ever asked if we can reach them or really anything about them. They do know that we know some information about them but surprisingly they have not asked anything about them. We have made it clear that we are willing to talk to them whenever they would like but nothing from them.

When you are considering adoption whether you are the potential family or the biological mother there are many tough decisions that you need to make. No one can tell you what the answer for you. No one can decide if you should participate in an open, semi-open or closed adoption that is a personal preference. Do not feel pressured into doing anything that you won’t be comfortable with 18 years down the line. This is a lifelong decision yes the agreement can be enforced in most states so check your state for the legalities of an open adoption agreement.

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About Tammy Woolard

My name is Tammy and I am 40 year old mother of 3 wonderful children who came to us through domestic adoption. Although we did not have any fertility issues we chose adoption because there are so many kids that did not ask to be born but truly want a family to love. We did research on adoption choices and decided on domestic adoption through CPS. You would be surprised the differences between each agency. The adoption process is nothing like you see in the movies. I am also a 5 year breast cancer survivor. When I was diagnosed my kids were 3, 5 and 7 I did so much research I may have driven my Dr. a little crazy but that is ok it is my body not his.

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