Yesterday I took a two-hour drive to the Jersey shore to check out a bayfront condo that’s for sale. I just wanted to see it. It doesn’t matter that I can’t do anything about it right now (I have what’s called a “cash flow” problem). Something in me just needs to savor the idea of owning it – if only in my imagination. Maybe someday, I will be able to live on the water at the shore.
It’s healthy to have dreams. Dreams are those long-term objectives that get us out of bed every day. They help us focus on the “big picture” when the “little picture” threatens to drag us down.
Right now I have two other dreams too:
- that my teenage son will mature into a healthy, happy adult and a fine human being.
- that my late-life soulmate and I will stay well for a long long time so that we can have as much time as possible together.
Speaking of dreams, I’ll never forget a conversation I had with my husband a month or two before he died. I’d mentioned to him the possibility of our buying a little place in the mountains as a vacation home. He laughed and said that we’d never use it enough because he played golf every weekend. To that I replied, “Well, I can dream, can’t I?”
One dream we did share was to retire early and move someplace that was warm year-round, like Arizona or Florida. We imagined a carefree home with a relaxed lifestyle and an adjacent golf course.
But things change, sometimes drastically, as they did for my son and me not long after I discussed my second home idea with my husband.
Dreams change too; but that only makes sense. My dreams as half of a married couple were different from what they are today (with the exception of the one for my son).
All of us revise our dreams throughout our lives, according to our evolving perception of what’s really important to us, of what we need to achieve peace, contentment and serenity, of what will make our lives worthwhile and worth living.
We need goals because they inspire us to move forward when life feels too difficult. Having something wonderful to strive for, to look forward to, is motivating. Goals that are important to us make giving up an impossible option.
What dreams keep you going? Maybe you’ve never really taken the time to think about this. You must be able to come up with a few. Once you can picture your dreams clearly in your mind, then remind yourself of them whenever things get depressing or discouraging.
Having dreams can make a big difference for both you and your family. Dreams can mean the difference between a positive, optimistic attitude and a negative, pessimistic one. Which would you rather model for your children?
In fact, talk to your children about their dreams. Kids generally can’t think past the way things are right now. Encourage them to consider how they’d like their futures to unfold. Help them to develop a healthy, positive outlook on life, which will ultimately serve them far better than the opposite view.
It doesn’t really matter what your dreams are; the point is to have them. So get dreaming!