All of us have fears at some stage or another. It’s what we do about them and how we deal with them that matters. Otherwise they can turn into chronic fears that plague our lives.
In a country surrounded by water and famous for its beaches, it seems incomprehensible for a person not to know how to swim. That was the case with my mother. Her brother thought he’d force her to swim by throwing her in the river, assuming survival instinct would take over. Instinct came a poor second. She disappeared under the water, and did not come up again. He had to dive in and rescue her.
She never learned to swim. Bribes, teasing, nothing induced her to overcome that innate fear of water. The problem is fear can be handed down from one generation to the next.
Being a good parent, determined I learn to swim even though she could not, my mother sent me to school swimming lessons. Only one small problem. The instructor refused to teach me to swim unless I put my face in the water. Like that was ever going to happen! When it came to a contest between her will and mine, it ended up a stalemate. The result? After ten days of lessons, I still couldn’t swim.
As I grew older I managed to maneuver through the water, after a fashion. What I’d call a turtle swim rather than recognizable swimming, as I kept my head well above the water. The problem was this turtle swim worked only as long as I knew my feet could touch bottom and I couldn’t drown. Once I nearly did. My friends jumped in the pool. I could see clear to the bottom. Figuring it was shallow, I jumped in too. Shock. Horror. My feet could not find the bottom. Panic set in. I sank like a boulder. Like my mother, I had to be rescued and have my stomach pumped of water. I learned after that, to check carefully the depth before venturing in.
Over the years I continued my turtle swim, until my son came along. Determined this fear of water must stop and not be handed down again, I sent him to swim classes. His instructor was tough. ‘You have to put your face in the water,’ she insisted. Stalemate. For me, it was like watching a remake of a movie with a different actor. At that moment I knew what I had to do.
Before the next lesson I took him to the pool. ‘Now just put your face under water.’ I said.
‘No.’ He shook his head.
I knew I had to hide my own fear to help him overcome his.
‘Like this. I’ll show you.’ I tried to control my panic, so my face did not reveal my fear. Plucking courage that could only have come from God, I plunged my face under the water. It wasn’t there long but it felt like forever. ‘Now your turn,’ I said as I came up for air.
Amazingly he did. By the time the instructor came for the lesson he was ready to do what I, as a child, would not.
He may never be a world class swimmer but he’s not afraid of the water. He can swim. As for me? I’m still a turtle swimmer and still don’t put my head under water. But at least I conquered my fear for one day, long enough to break the cycle passing down the generations.
Is there a fear you need to deal with so it does not pass down from generation to generation? In the next couple of blogs we’ll look at ways to overcome fear.
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