When children are babies and even toddlers, they find both bottle and pacifier a way to relax. Suckling is a normal function and often times, during stress, will help to calm and even put children to sleep. Some children who still use a bottle or pacifier use them only when stressed, sick, or tired. These are almost like a security blanket. Other children are at the age when they should stop taking a bottle or pacifier but they are having a difficult time letting go.
Then, a third group of children is far too old and should have been weaned long ago. In fact, there are still kids aged six, seven, eight, and even nine sucking on a bottle or pacifier. For the children who have reached the age to get off the bottle or pacifier but are having a hard time, here is a tip that really works: The first thing you need to do is make the child feel as though the decision to get rid of their bottle or pacifier is their choice. By this age, you can explain to them they you are going to hold a “Big Boy” or “Big Girl” ceremony where they will get rid of these securities.
By making it a special occasion, your child will feel as though they have some control in giving these up. Creating a “ceremony” helps to reinforce their decision. After you have completed the little ceremony, the next time they want their bottle or pacifier, you can calmly remind them of the ceremony. They will remember and therefore, have that to hold on to, which will help them through that short time of craving.
The secret is to make getting rid of their bottle or pacifier a big deal. Find a nice local park where there is a 55-gallon barrel, picnic table, shade trees, lush, green grass, and a playground. Decorate the barrel with a paper tablecloth for easy disposal, bring noisemakers, party hats, balloons, and a blue ribbon to tack to your child’s clothing, and pack a celebration lunch of your child’s favorite foods. For playtime afterwards, bring a ball, a Frisbee, and some of your child’s favorite outdoor toys.
The goal is for your child to understand that when they drop their bottle or pacifier into the barrel, they are now a big boy or big girl and that those security items are gone – forever. The key to this working is that the child has to be the one who places the item(s) into the barrel. As they make their way toward the barrel, lift them up so they actually are the one throwing it away. As soon as the bottle or pacifier is gone, everyone needs to cheer. This time, it is perfectly fine to go overboard. You want your child to remember this special occasion.
At that point, kneel down and present them with the blue ribbon. Pass out the noisemakers, party hats, and balloons, or whatever you brought for your celebration! Then head over to the picnic table and enjoy a wonderful lunch. After lunch, take some time at the playground with the balls and toys. Make this a great day filled with nothing but fun and celebration. As your child gets tired and looks at you as though asking for their security items, provide a lot of hugs and support. Again, congratulate your child on the great ceremony and remind them of their accomplishment.
It will take a little time, but you will be amazed at how your child will take on the title of “big boy” or “big girl” with ease. Your child has learned a very important lesson. You have taught them that they can succeed and that although it may be hard afterwards, they have your support and encouragement. As your child grows up, they will be faced with many other obstacles to overcome. While they will not go through life having an official ceremony for each obstacle, they will know from experience that they can succeed.