Parents of children with special needs know all too well, that for their child, play dates can be rare, if they exist at all. But, with a rise in inclusive education, friendships and play dates between kids with and without disabilities could be on the rise as well. Or at least we can hope so.
About a year ago, I spoke with the father of a boy with cerebral palsy who is in the classroom alongside his peers on a daily basis. Instead of being “the kid in the wheelchair”, his son is a friend who regularly plays with his classmates outside of school.
On the other hand, I spoke with the mother of a young boy who has multiple diagnoses and she fears her son will never even make a friend, never mind be invited to a play date or a birthday party. Can you imagine a life without friends?
At this point, my daughter doesn’t get much interaction with other kids. She sees her cousins and a few family friends on occasion. But after her diagnosis, daycare and playgroups were ruled out by the doctor for at least 6 months. We just continued to keep it that way in order to keep her healthy. But one day she will have friends and will go on play dates and even sleepovers. So how do we make play dates and birthday parties and sleepovers fun and safe for our kids while allowing them their freedom and trusting other parents to care for them? We plan.
* When your child makes a friend, get to know that child’s parents. Talk to them casually, at times that seem
appropriate or perhaps when they inquire, about your child’s condition. Be open and honest.
* Depending on your child’s condition, accompany them to the first play date. There’s nothing that says you can’t hang out with the other parent while your children play.
* Give the parents an idea of what your child can and can’t do, will and won’t eat and what their favorite activities are.
* Prepare a list of emergency numbers for them and make sure they have all of your contact information as well.
* Make a list of allergies and/or symptoms to watch out for.
* Make a list of medications and treatments and when they are to be given.
* Empower your child, based on age and ability. Give your child appropriate responsibilities. When she has learned to count, teach her how to count out and take her own medications. When she knows how to tell time, teach her when her treatments need to happen. This will give your child a sense of responsibility for herself that she will carry with her into her teenage and adult years, and will give you a sense of freedom and a confidence that your child can take care of (some) of her needs herself.
When possible, allow your child the opportunity to be a friend, even if it scares you. The benefits of friendship are endless and your child will have a more fulfilling life because of it.