I’m not sure who is more stubborn, me or my three year old. Some days I’m about ready to rip my hair out. We’ve all been there. You’re sitting at the dinner table trying to get your child to eat their vegetables when you hear the dreaded words, “You can’t make me!” Immediately you feel that sense of frustration start to build, the angrier you get, the more your child digs in their heels, and the power struggle ensues.
Unfortunately, your child is right, you can’t actually force the vegetables down their throat, but you can enforce consequences for it. Children are going to challenge your authority from time to time, they like to push buttons and see where the boundaries really are, but in the end you are still the parent. Giving in only teaches them that they can get away with not obeying you. If your child won’t eat their vegetables, let them go without dinner for the night. This may sound harsh, but it is a natural consequences of the decision they made. It gives them some control, they get to choose whether or not to eat their vegetables, but as a parent you are the one in charge of their consequences.
The most important thing you can do when you feel a power struggle coming on is to take a deep breath and take a step back. If your child is feeling helpless and out of control, give them some choices. Do you want to eat your dinner at the table or the counter tonight? Do you want your Dora cup or your Spongebob cup? By giving your child choices they feel more in control and there is less of a need challenge your authority. Stand your ground, but be empathetic. It’s hard not to have choices all the time!