Like most seasoned parents, I am often full of ideas, suggestions, and parenting advice. To hear me carry on, you would think that there is never anything that happens with my kids that I can’t and don’t handle with aplomb—well, that couldn’t be further from the truth…
Recently I was chatting with an old friend of mine whose two children are in their late twenties. I have known this woman since her children were younger than mine are now so we have some shared parenting history! As I was telling her about some of my recent struggles, she started to chuckle: “I remember very clearly YOU telling me when my kids were in high school that I needed to let them make their own choices and mistakes and that they would turn out fine—now you sound like I did then!” She was right—it is always much easier for me to tell other people what they ought to be doing as parents than to catch myself and practice what I preach.
The fact that I struggle with all of these same issues that most parents struggle with does give me compassion. I am far from perfect and what seems so clear when it is someone else’s problem or someone else’s child can be perplexing when it is happening in your own family. Plus, I am NOT a robot, I get agitated, annoyed, worried, and fearful and this definitely affects my parenting choices more often than I would like to admit.
But, I am fortunate to have a couple great old friends around to help keep me grounded, and remind me when I start to lose perspective. What a gift good earthy friends can be. With a little nudge, I can be brought back to reality and work on practicing what I have been preaching!
Also: Encouraging or Demanding?
The Role of Adaptation in Parenting