Recently Myra Turner wrote about the influence of song lyrics on teenagers and it got me to thinking about all of the ready-made role models our teens are digesting. Media personalities and sports heroes whom they are spoon-fed and led to believe are “role models.” It dawned on me that as parents, we need to combat those pseudo role models by helping to provide “real life” role models for our kids.
Real life role models can be inspirational in their very ordinariness. Years ago, when my eldest daughter was in the fifth grade, her TAG class went on a field trip to a research laboratory—a very ordinary little space in the warehouse district where two or three professional chemists worked to make particular items used in some rather ordinary every-day products. My daughter was so obviously fascinated and interested in the work that one of the chemists—the only woman—called the teacher after the visit and asked if she though my daughter would be interested in doing an “internship”—a few calls later and my daughter began a two-year volunteer “internship” with this woman in the chemistry lab. The chemist became both a mentor and a role model—as a single mom raising her son and working full time as a scientist, she showed my daughter that her dream of becoming a research scientist was possible—and not without it’s challenges.
I think that kids need grand role models—writers and social activists and saints—as part of their repertoire of role models, but they also need real, authentic, ordinary people other than their parents that they get to know. This gives them a chance to emulate characteristics they are able to witness up close. Also, I think the fact that real live people have flaws and challenges that our kids can see and “get” makes them so incredibly valuable to character development. I’m of the opinion that perfect people don’t necessarily make the best role models—we just can’t relate. Our kids need to see how people overcome obstacles and challenges and shine in spite of life’s bumps. The flashy MTV heroes just don’t cut it!
Of course, our kids may not find the same people we do inspirational—but a little gentle guidance and encouragement from parents can help to steer our kids in the direction of real life role models—whether they are family members, family friends, community leaders, teachers, church members or neighbors—there are so many opportunities for us to enrich our children’s lives with genuine role models.