Put a fork in me…. Home Biz Families.com

I’m done. I threw in the towel. Elvis left the building and the fat lady has sung. I quit.

I never thought I would utter those words (or type them for that matter). While I am not proud of being a quitter…it just feels right this time.

Allow me to rewind a few months. I used to be a direct sales Director with a large downline team. Each month my paycheck and my business continued to grow. Much like Andre Agassiz and Michael Jordan, I quit in my prime – only I left for a very different reason.

It was mid-November and the height of the holiday sales season. I had just set up a booth at one of the largest vendor events in my region. Suddenly, my phone rang. “Traci…Dave’s dead”. “What?” “Are you serious?” I asked. “I am packing up now and will meet you in a moment, hun”. I never returned to my booth that weekend, or my business…ever.

My husband is a Sheriff’s Deputy who also works a second job so that I can stay home with our children. One of his closest friends and a fellow officer died suddenly in a work-related traffic accident. My husband was not at work that day because he was busy caring for our children. I am fairly certain that he regrets not being there when his friend died and I regret not being there for my husband since joining my business.

When Brian’s co-worker died that day, I imagined myself as the widow. Did I have any regrets? Did I say what I needed to say? Did we spend enough time together?

We all have our breaking points. With each rung I’ve climbed up on my personal success ladder, I’ve wondered if all of the sacrifices were worth it. Unfortunately, it took a tragic accident for me to realize that they weren’t.

On the rare evenings my husband was not working, I would schedule a party or sales event so that he could watch the children. I usually saw him in passing and with a peck on the cheek I would grab my tote bag and run out the door. “Bye hun, I love you.”

While I never mailed in my formal letter of resignation, for all practical purposes, I quit the moment I heard the news. While I never intended to leave so suddenly, I don’t regret the snap-decision for a moment. My paperwork and tote bag are still sitting in our garage where I haphazardly tossed them that day. Three months later, I still haven’t touched anything.

When parents discuss their choices to stay home, the primary focus is the children. “I am doing this to stay home with the kids”, “my kids need me and I want to be there for their first steps”.

While I am not saying our children shouldn’t be our focus our spouses should be right up there too. Have you ever considered the toll that a home-business takes on them? Are you running out the door when they get home? Are you frantically placing orders in the evenings when your children are in bed? Do you escape into another room to work so he can care for the children when he gets home from work?

When I left my full-time career to stay home with my children, I gave up a bit of financial security. This time, I am giving up even more to be there for my husband.