Many home-based professionals choose to work at home because it enables them to stay at home with their children. If you are a work at home/stay at home parent like I am, then you probably spend a great deal of time caring for your children. You also spend a lot of time working, taking care of your home, and maybe even doing a few other things. One thing that often happens (at least for me) is that somewhere in the midst of doing all of these important things, I forget to pay attention to myself.
Today, I caught sight of my reflection in a store window and realized that it has happened again. Try as I might to remember to put in a little time and effort in the appearance department, it sometimes falls by the wayside as I make a mad dash to get the little one out the door and into the car before nap time rolls around. As a result, I found myself out and about doing errands with frazzled hair, a threadbare shirt, and a look of general disarray. All of this is no one’s fault but my own, and a reminder that there is a “Me” inside every “Mommy” who has needs that should be attended to with the same love and care that said “Mommy” uses to attend to the needs of her family.
Sometimes, putting the “Me” back in “Mommy” is easier said than done, though. Somewhere along the line, I have acquired the notion that attending to my own needs (above and beyond the most basic of the basics) is selfish. I know that this notion is not correct, yet I can’t seem to get rid of it. Perhaps it will go away some day, but at least for now the best that I can do is to be conscious of it and work on attending to my needs regardless of whether I think that it is selfish to do so.
So, what exactly can a person do when they realize that they have been putting themselves at the bottom of their to-do list? Acknowledging that this is the case can make a big difference in how you feel. It also helps to remind yourself that it is okay to have needs of your own, and that meeting those needs does not mean that you won’t be able to take care of your family or get your work done. Also, it does not take a lot of time, money, or energy to take care of yourself. Simple things like getting out of your pajamas and into a nice set of clothes even if you are going to be home all day, or enjoying a quiet moment with a cup of tea as soon as your little one is napping can make you feel well cared for. Think about how you can integrate little acts of kindness to yourself into your day. Most importantly, remember that when you take time to care for yourself you restore your energy and vitality so that you have even more to give to your work and to your family.