I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I’ve been having one of those weeks where it seems like I’m not making any headway. It feels like, no matter what I do, I’m falling behind.
I don’t have to tell you what the single parent life is like. Besides parenting my teenage son, I’m trying to earn a living by working from home and have recently begun homeschooling my son. Add to that the maintenance/upkeep of a household and throw in seven pets and lately, I feel like there’s no time to just stop and do nothing at all for even a minute!
And of course, when things get like this, what suffers the most? “Me” time — any time that we might devote to things that are just for us is the first to fall by the wayside. So my exercise equipment goes unused, as does my wonderful hot tub. I’m sleeping too little and eating too much.
But neglecting ourselves under these circumstances does nothing to improve the situation, does it? For me, when I feel tired and out of shape, I feel less in control of things, not more. And just yesterday I went to the doctor and was told that my blood pressure is up. Clearly, my body is telling me that I’m not taking good care of it.
So now that I’ve given myself (and you) a pep talk, what are we going to do about it? I’ll tell you what I’m trying to do about it.
I think I mentioned once that my son and I were both diagnosed this past year with ADHD (the inattentive type). Since my biggest challenges have always been with organization, time management, doing things/getting places on time, and of course, distraction, I recently decided to begin working with an ADHD “coach.”
My coach and I talk on the phone once a week for an hour. During that time, he helps me figure out what to do to make my life work better, which will reduce my stress and increase my joy. (I’ve only “met” with him twice so far, so I can’t say that anything has dramatically changed yet; these things don’t happen overnight!)
What is changing, though, is my awareness, my consciousness of what’s not working for me and my focus on ways to change those things.
For example, I now have an actual “schedule,” an outline of what I do and when I do it from morning until night. Even though I’m modifying it as I go, just looking at it throughout the day (it’s posted in my kitchen) helps remind me of what I’ve done and what I still need to do.
I’ve even scheduled “me” time into my day. I can’t say that I’ve actually been able to fit it in this week, though! But again, when I look at the schedule, I remember that I need to make at least a few minutes of time during the day to unwind and recharge.
I think that a schedule could help any single parent who’s crunched for time, not just one with ADHD. Just tracking your time to see where it goes can help too; you might find that you’re spending more time on some things than you need to.
It also helps to do certain things at certain times of the day if you can. For example, if your brain isn’t fully functioning first thing in the morning or late at night, then avoid intellectually demanding tasks at those times. Maybe you can exercise then, or run errands then, or take care of paperwork; save the mentally challenging stuff for when your brain is up to speed.
This strategy can actually save you time because you won’t be taxing your brain when it can’t handle it, which will only make those kinds of tasks take longer.
OK, I’ve checked my schedule and I’m supposed to be homeschooling my son now. I’ll keep working with this schedule thing and see if it’s really the solution to overwhelm. If it’s not the solution, maybe at least it will make things seem more manageable!