Whether it is a matter of sexual infidelity or just forgetting your birthday, here are some reasons why you should just let it go and give your spouse a second chance.
Good basic character
If you spouse is basically a decent person with a good character then it usually means that a second chance would be rewarded. Has your spouse showed you time and time again that he or she has a commitment to you and the relationship? Did you trust your spouse before the current issue? Does your spouse generally care about others and usually does the right thing?
Tough circumstances
You don’t want to let your spouse get away with excuse after excuse, but were there tough circumstances in place that might have may it tough for your spouse to do the right thing? This could be a dangerous line depending on the nature of the offense, but if an unusual situation comes up that prompts your spouse to act uncharacteristically in a way that you would have never dreamed he or she would then perhaps a second chance might be warranted.
Change is happening
You can genuinely see that the issue is causing positive changes in your relationship. Maybe you are now beginning to have better communication, for example. Has there been some genuine growth and and insight that has come out of it all? In your heart of hearts (without fooling yourself) do you believe that change is possible?
You’re willing to risk it happening again
While you can always have the greatest confidence and hope that the situation that brought you pain won’t happen again, can you handle it if it did? Sometimes in spite all efforts and willingness, things continue to fall apart. You have to be truly prepared that your spouse might disappoint you a second time. Obviously, you don’t want to continue be a doormat or suffer abuse, but if you can emerge relatively in tact after a scond offense, the risk might be worth it.
What do you think? Do you have an experience in which you gave your spouse a second chance? Was it worthwhile?
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
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