Friday Marriage Funnies – Fun in Love

Want to make a woman happy? Not sure if the following quiz will help, but when it showed up in my email, it was definitely worth a laugh.

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system. For fun, score your husband or yourself and see how it goes. Remember — this is just for fun.

SIMPLE DUTIES

  • You make the bed Add 1
  • You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows 0
  • You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets Subtract 1
  • You leave the toilet seat up Subtract 5
  • You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty 0
  • When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex Subtract 1
  • When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom Subtract 2
  • You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings Add 5
  • in the snow Add 8
  • but return with beer Subtract 5
  • and no liners Subtract 25
  • You check out a suspicious noise at night 0
  • You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing 0
  • You check out a suspicious noise and it is something Add 5
  • You pummel it with a six iron Add 10
  • It’s her cat Subtract 40

HER BIRTHDAY

  • You take her out to dinner Add 0
  • You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar Add 1
  • Okay, it is a sports bar Subtract 2
  • And it’s all-you-can-eat night Subtract 3
  • It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team Subtract 10

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

  • You take her to a movie Add 2
  • You take her to a movie she likes Add 4
  • You take her to a movie you hate Add 6
  • You take her to a movie you like Subtract 2
  • It’s called Death Cop 3 Subtract 3
  • Which features Cyborgs that eat humans Subtract 9
  • You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans Subtract 15

The No-Win Question

She asks, “Do I look fat?”

  • You hesitate in responding Subtract 10
  • You reply, “Where?” Subtract 35
  • Any other response Subtract 20

So — how did you or your husband do?

This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , by Heather Long. Bookmark the permalink.

About Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. They have a beautiful daughter who just turned five years old. She is learning to read and preparing for kindergarten in the fall. An author of more than 300 articles and 500+ web copy pieces, Heather has also written three books as a ghostwriter. Empty Canoe Publishing accepted a novel of her own. A former horse breeder, Heather used to get most of her exercise outside. In late 2004, early 2005 Heather started studying fitness full time in order to get herself back into shape. Heather worked with a personal trainer for six months and works out regularly. She enjoys shaking up her routine and checking out new exercises. Her current favorites are the treadmill (she walks up to 90 minutes daily) and doing yoga for stretching. She also performs strength training two to three times a week. Her goals include performing in a marathon such as the Walk for Breast Cancer Awareness or Team in Training for Lymphoma research. She enjoys sharing her knowledge and experience through the fitness and marriage blogs.

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