Remarrying the Same Person

Do you know anyone that has been married, divorced, and then remarried to the same person? I actually know several couples who have taken this roller coaster ride and it seems that second marriages to the same person are successful at about the same rate as first marriages, at least in my own observation.

I’ve seen couples that really love each other, even though love just isn’t enough. They try again only to find that they still can’t live together as man and wife. It’s sad to see them struggle, but in some cases, they end up being close friends who very much care for each other. They might not be able to make marriage work, but they somehow feel tied to each other.

Others simply fail because they remarry without dealing with the problems or issues that caused the break down of their first marriage. They love each other and miss each other, or miss being married, but they haven’t done the necessary work to keep the relationship from deteriorating into the same unhappy marriage they had before.

The ones who make it often admit that they never should have gotten divorced. It was just too easy to walk away instead of sticking around to work through the hard times. One remarried wife told me that she soon learned that her problems didn’t go away and that there was no one she would rather work through them with than her husband. They are happily married, for the second time around. They recently celebrated their second tenth anniversary.

If you consider a divorce, make sure that it is not just an escape. Realize that you’ll still have problems. And, if consider remarrying someone you were previously married to, make sure you sort through the issues that caused your first marriage to each other to end. Ask the tough questions and be honest, and you may well grow old with the person you were meant to be with.