Some might think I’m a little too sentimental and maybe I am. But once again I am facing this new season in life that has just really hit me. My 16-year-old son has his learner’s permit.
He started driver’s education and when I went to pick him up Friday he proudly announced that he had passed his written test. So we took a trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) to get his learner’s permit. It felt so strange. I remember not that long ago doing the same. Okay, maybe it was a long time ago but it somehow didn’t feel that way.
When we walked out of the DMV he was nervous about getting behind the wheel so we waited until we were closer to home. I parked on a side street about a mile from our home and he took over. He did a great job but my stomach was in knots.
It seems like it was only yesterday that he was driving his red motorized jeep. He was three years old when we bought that crazy thing for him. I remember he would jump out of it every two minutes to “fix” it.
So begins a new season where his freedoms will become even greater. The gap between us continues to grow. He is moving further away from us. It’s yet another step toward complete independence. I am going to treasure every moment that is left.
Some parents really do have a hard time with letting go. Although I am sentimental about these things I know that letting go is part of the process. I can’t hold onto them forever.
It’s like we have a lifeline to our children, a rope that is used to secure us together. As each year passes we begin to loosen the rope, so that they can move further away from us. The distance becomes greater until that one day when we finally have to let go of the rope.
Here is where the challenge can be, knowing how much rope to let go of. They may not be ready for us to loosen it too much. Or we may not have loosened it enough. We have to somehow get it just right. And then, one day, every parent eventually has to let go of the rope.
It may be hard to accept but it is the healthiest way of bringing up our children. They eventually have to make that switch to independence. So pay attention to your rope and know when the right time is to loosen, to tighten and to let go.
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