In the first two installments of Margo’s story we looked at Margo’s increasing sadistic tendencies as she aged from a young girl through to late teenagehood. Apart from displaying all the classic symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, (see links below), Margo continued with her sadistic treatment of others who she felt she had power over.
It is important to realize that, despite the front that narcissists show to the world, they are acutely insecure people and must rely on belittling others or, alternatively, associating themselves with people who they perceive as more important than themselves in order to make themselves feel powerful themselves.
One of Margo’s methods of giving herself the illusion of power was to exert her “power” over those she selected as being beneath her in life’s pecking order. She chose boyfriends who she could dominate and who were all invariably not as handsome as other young men who she could feasibly have attracted. This resulted in the fact that these young men were besotted by her as she was “out of their league”. Her power in choosing such a male was that she could dominate him and treat him however she liked, and they would still come back for more.
She dated a series of boys and young men in her teens and early twenties and her cruelty and non-commitment was apparent even to her family and her younger sister, Leah. When she tired of one male, she didn’t fret over hurting him when she broke up the relationship. Instead Margo was nasty, cruel and personally attacked their looks or any behaviors she thought inappropriate.
Interestingly, one of her boyfriends left her in the form of getting a transfer out of town. He didn’t want the transfer, but she went to pieces, not because she loved him but because she had lost her power over him. Ironically, he lobbied for a transfer back home for months, and not long after his return, she dumped him and his flowers unceremoniously into the garbage can. This action reduced him to tears but Margo found this immensely funny and told anyone who would listen. She showed the typical absence of empathy that characterizes NPD and but with the added twist of the thrill of the sadistic side to the event.
In our next article, we will follow Margo’s life journey as she continues to treat those with whom she comes into contact with disdain and contempt, with the additional problem of her increasing narcissism.