It seems like everywhere I turn lately, there are marriage problems…serious ones. Couples that you would never imagine considering divorce seem to be on that path.
I recently met with a woman who had filed for divorce but then stopped it. She is willing, although very reluctantly, to give her husband a chance to work on his issues. They are serious, difficult issues.
My heart feels for her. It is painful to see her pain. It would be easy for me to say, “Get out while you can.” But I tend to be of the mindset that you should first do everything you can to save it.
Giving up is easy when you don’t put forth effort to work on it. What’s difficult is giving up after you have put a lot of work into trying to save it. But it is almost always worth a shot.
Don’t get me wrong, there are always “special” circumstances to consider. But I’m not talking about a person’s life being in danger. I’m talking about making the choice to see if healing and restoration is possible.
I don’t stand in judgment of anyone who makes the decision to get a divorce. That is not my place to judge.
But I do feel strongly about trying to save it. That doesn’t mean giving it a week and seeing if things change. It takes a long time for problems in a marriage to develop. So it has to be expected that it will also take a long time to see things healed and restored.
I know that not everyone will agree with me. I know that some might say, “But you don’t know my circumstances…you don’t know my situation.” I don’t. I only know that I am a product of a marriage that was miraculously saved.
When you have been on both sides, you get a different perspective. If I had never faced some of the challenges I did in my marriage, I wouldn’t feel justified encouraging restoration. But I have…so I do.
Putting forth the effort to save a marriage doesn’t always work. But for those who have done it and experienced healing in their relationship, they would tell you the same thing…it was worth it.
Photo by Daquella manera in Flickr