Did you know that the average couple waits and entire six years before asking help for marital difficulties? This fact is from the Gottman Institute, a research facility that has been studying marriage since 1973. Furthermore, most marriages end within the first seven years (also called “the seven year itch”).
This is a sad state of affairs. It means that so many couples live with unhappy marriages for far too long. Unhappiness in marriage will ultimately lead to divorce in the majority of cases. Not only this, but unhappy marriages can affect the lives of the individuals themselves, subjecting them to depression, self-esteem issues or even abuse. Therefore, it is imperative to seek help early when marital conflicts arise.
What are some signs of marital conflict?
Chances are pretty good that if you are experiencing marital conflict, you know it. But perhaps you brush it off as something that might pass. All marriages have their ups and downs, but sustained conflict in a marriage is not a way to live.
Here are some common signs that your marriage may need help:
- Shouting and yelling on a regular basis
- Name calling and “hitting below the belt,” pushing buttons are purpose
- Harsh criticism of your partner or of you from your partner
- Things being thrown at each other or other acts of violence (this needs immediate attention)
- Not being able to talk about problems calmly or working through conflicts and disagreements.
- Rehashing bad memories or resentments. If the same things keep coming up over and over again.
- Getting angry over little things the other person says or does, even if it wouldn’t normally be warranted
- Feeling worthless or unwanted in your marriage or making your spouse feel that way.
- Not feeling accepted for who you are in the marriage.
- Being suspicious of your spouse’s motivations or not trusting your spouse.
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
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