Do you do take care of most of the holiday preparations or does your spouse? Do you clean, plan, shop, and cook until you’re exhausted or do the two of you share the effort equally? If holidays have become an exercise in stress and exhaustion, you need to communicate this to your spouse. After all, you should be able to enjoy the holidays as well.
A good way to get your spouse more involved is to ask for his or her opinion on things. You may simply love the raspberry-cranberry sauce that you serve each year, but your spouse may prefer plain whole-berry cranberry sauce because that is what his mom serves every year. There is no reason you cannot have both, and there is no reason that your spouse cannot take on making his mother’s recipe.
Perhaps your spouse knows how to cook a few things and has a specialty. Why not let him or her prepare it? Even if your spouse doesn’t do much cooking there are other things he or she can do to help. Ask your mate to plan, prepare, and serve a relish tray. Don’t fuss over what your spouse decides to include or how it is arranged. Work on something else and let your mate handle it. It will be okay, really.
Sometimes, we get so engrossed in making sure that everything is just so that we go overboard. You will be more relaxed and so will everyone else if you learn to loosen up a bit, and stop worrying so much. Perfection is not the objective. Quality time with your family is, and this can be achieved more easily if you accept some help (even if everything doesn’t get done just your way).
I should know. I got so bad at one point that I began to dread the holidays. Now, I don’t worry so much and I find myself looking forward to this time of year again and having a much better time.
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