The last article on considering adoption focused on you (and your spouse) feel about adoption. The next set of questions you need to ask yourself is about your home, your family situation and your ability to take on the challenge of adding an adopted child to your family.
How stable is our home life?
Adoption is not easy. Just like adding a new baby to the household, it will definitely disrupt your schedule and everyone in the family has to adjust. With adoption, it is often not a infant who is joining your family, but an older baby, toddler or even a school aged child. This child will come to your home with experiences and with a life before joining your family. Their past will affect how they adjust into you family. Most adopted children will adjust well, but it does take time to help them settle in. If you already feel overwhelmed by your current family situation – whether it be your kids, your marriage or other pressures – then it may not be the best time to add an adopted child to your family.
Do we feel equipped to handle the extra issues that many adopted children will have to deal with?
As I stated in the previous section, adopted children do come to their forever families with a past. Some children have a positive start with loving caregivers, others have dealt with abuse and neglect or institutionalized care. Whether their past was positive or negative, adopted children still have extra issues to deal with. Even if a child comes to your family at birth, they still will at some point have to process the fact that they were adopted. Each child has to reconcile this in their minds and decide what adoption means to them. It is important that adoptive parents are willing to help their child work through the process of understanding adoption and healing from any past hurts. You don’t have to have all of the answers, but you do need to be willing to learn and to help your child through these issues.