Views differ on the subject of older siblings being present at the birth of a new baby. Some people are disgusted by the idea, while others worry about how their children would react to seeing Mommy in pain. Other families see child birth as a shared family experience.
Even experts don’t agree about this subject. Some think children should be included. Others think they should be kept at home. Some set a criteria on age for participation in a birth, such as 3 years, 5 years or even older. Others think it depends on the child’s individual temperament and personality, rather than a pre determined age. I tend to agree with this philosophy. Some three year olds may be able to handle it, while another fifteen year old may not.
Another option is to allow your child to decide if he or she wants to participate. Your child’s personality is probably the best indicator of whether she can deal with seeing you in labor. Another consideration is how well you handle labor. Do you become hysterical, yell and cry in pain? This may not be the best situation for a young child. If you are quiet and tend to turn inward when in labor, the experience may be great for your child. Only you can decide based on your own family and situation.
Most hospitals will allow siblings to be present for labor and delivery, barring any complications. If you have decided to include other children in the birth, be sure to have another adult present in addition to the parents. A grandparent, aunt or uncle is a good choice. This person can help watch the children and take them out if they should get upset at any time. Also, labor can be long. A support person can take them down to the cafeteria for some ice cream or for a walk. If a problem should arise and the kids need to be removed, the support person can take them to the waiting room and stay with them.
Spend time preparing your child for birth. Videos are available that are geared for children. Don’t worry about the images being graphic, you are preparing them for a graphic experience. Watching the videos will help your child know what to expect when the big day arrives. Watch the video together and be prepared to answer any questions they may have. Books are also available to teach children about labor and birth. They will need to become familiar with words like placenta, umbilical cord and dilation, which they will hear during labor.
Above all, remain flexible. Just as with your first time, there is no way to know how your child will react. Be prepared to have them taken out of the room if needed. They may love it, or hate it. Try to be prepared for all possibilities.