All children want things and healthy children learn that asking means they often get what they have requested, and once in awhile the answer is, “no.” Children who grow up in ordinary environments learn that it is okay to ask and that the answer, “no” doesn’t mean there is something wrong with them–it just means, “no.”
Child with attachment disorders seem to be one extreme or the other when it comes to requesting. Some children appear unable to ask for their needs to be met. These children often suffer from very low or broken self-esteems. Often a child who is not able to ask for a need to be met, can’t because of thinking errors and the honest belief that they don’t deserve to have their needs met.
Other children with attachment disorders can’t seem to ask for their needs to be met because of a complete sense of fear. This child might fear the denial of their request, which would give you all the control over him or her. There are some children who would much rather go without having their need met rather then let go of one tiny bit of control.
Some children may always be withholding of their requests for having needs met. Other children may be more over demanding and many children are more requesting in some areas and not at all in other areas. A demanding child is expressing their need to control. If a demanding child can manipulate, trick, bully, beg of tantrum their way into having every need met, they gain a sense of control over their world and control is what makes this child feel the safest.
Some children with sever attachment disorders will engage in nonsense talking or questioning. Simply, to control the situation and feel safe. Some children will chant and repeat their requests over and over like a song they have sung a million times. Some of the repetitious requesting may also stem from pro-longed periods of neglect and the baby cries that were made and never answered.
Some of the side effect behaviors seen in children with attachment disorders are:
- Side Effects of Attachment Disorders Series Introduction.
- Opposition.
- Control.
- Conscience Development.
- Stealing and Jealousy.
- Thinking errors.
- Anger and Rage.
- Feeling.
- Meeting the Requests.
- Decision-Making
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For more information about parenting special needs children you might want to visit the Families.com Special Needs Blog and the Mental Health Blog. Or visit my personal website.