There is an ongoing debate when it comes to dating and romance—do you look for similarities or differences? When you are a single parent who is also trying to date, time can be precious and it is hard enough to find a little time for ourselves, let alone get out there and “meet people.” A strategy that works well for many single parents is to look for shared interests—whether by meeting people at activities that we already enjoy (church, volunteer work, hobbies, etc.) or find people who like to do similar things so we have a “jumping off point” for getting to know each other better.
Another great thing about going the shared interests route to dating is that you can be doing something together so that you can get to know each other in a way other than as parents. On a traditional “date” we have a tendency to compare lists and expectations and talk a lot about parenthood, whereas if we are working on a project or playing a sport or learning a new skill or hobby, we can get to know the “non-parent” in a potential date. It can also be a less pressured and stressful way to interact and get to know each other since the focus is on other things in addition to conversation and personal interaction.
Depending on what the shared interests are, it can also be more like a “group date” than a one-on-one and this can be a great way to get to know someone in the early stages. You can see how you both interact with other people, possible have your kids along and it can be low pressure and fun. Don’t overlook finding someone (or a few someones) with shared interests as a way for a single parent to get back in the dating pool.
Also: Dating–Now or Later?
Ten Things You Find in a Happy Marriage