Just as I believe that rewards should be given for good behavior, I also believe that things should be removed for negative behavior. I did have to do this a couple of times on our trip. Did it make him angry with me? Yes, for a short while, but then he realized that if he corrected his behavior, he would get whatever was taken away back, and would be able to keep it as long as he continued the positive behavior. We aren’t just talking “things” here either, though that was the most common towards the end of the trip, since we were the only ones left after the first 4 days.
The first time I had to take something away on this trip, it was actually a person. Well, two people to be exact. You see, there are two people whom he really loves and looks up to, however, he gets carried away when he is around them. He tries to be like them, and they are adults, so he sometimes does things he shouldn’t. He also gets so excited when he gets to spend time with them that he starts to annoy him, and while they are the adults, they don’t always act like it. They know what buttons to push, and they don’t hold back when he annoys them. So, I actually took them away from him, technically, I took him away form them but it had the same effect. I told him if he couldn’t behave when he was around them, then he couldn’t be around them. It took a total of maybe fifteen minutes for him to realize I was serious, and he couldn’t be by them when he wasn’t behaving. Once he realized that, he changed his behavior at once.
The other thing that worked like a charm was the fact that he KNOWS that if he gets something as a reward, I bought it, I paid for it, I gave it to him, and I can take it away. When he gets a reward, I tell him what he is getting it for. He knows that if the situation changes, and he is doing the opposite of what he is rewarded for, he will lose that reward. The whole time we were there, I did take his squishy toys he had accumulated so far away. He was upset that I did it, and he knew why. After behaving for several hours afterward, he asked if he was behaving enough to get another chance, and he didn’t try to push his limits again.
Check out these articles below to learnmore about removing privileges for misbehavior.
8 Weeks to a Well Behaved Child
Three Level Method of Discipline
Teaching Kids the Responsibilities That Come With Freedom