Combating the myth of the neglectful and self-absorbed single parent seems to be at least a small part of every single parent’s existence. Sure, there are lousy single parents just as there are lousy partnered parents. While we might not be able to change and control what everyone thinks about us and about single parenthood as a whole, we can find and surround ourselves with those people that can see single parents as devoted and competent parents too…
It amazes me that this myth prevails and is perpetuated by so many different people in different areas of life. I have had terse conversations with teachers and principals, as well as co-workers, and strangers at events—it is really no wonder we single parents often struggle with confidence and self-esteem issues. Most of us hear these comments questioning the devotion and dedication of single parents at least once in a while. There is some antiquated and classist idea that some folks have that single parents are spending every night down at the bar instead of tending to their children. It is interesting since most of the single parents I know have hardly any social life since they are spending their time tending to their families! For most of us, it is kids and work and the occasional outing with trusted friends (often interrupted by a call from our kids!).
Perhaps I am preaching to the choir here in the Single Parents blog, but I do think it is important that we send the message that single parents can be and are devoted parents too. We are not all accidental and reluctant parents and most of us take our role and our job quite seriously—often I think we take it extra seriously since we might feel we have so much to prove and nothing (and no one to fall back on)!
Also: Who’s Going to Take My Side?
Don’t Let Teachers and Administrators Intimidate You