As I said before, single parents have the same hopes and fears as a married parent. We worry about the same things, with a few extra things thrown in. In this blog I’ll talk about some of the things that single parents have to worry about that married parents don’t.
1. Child support is a big worry for single parents. Will it come or won’t it? If it will, when will it come? Is it enough to subsidize our current income? If it isn’t coming, or hasn’t in a while, is there anything that I can do to make it start coming?
2. Visitation with the other parent. When will it occur? Where will it occur? Will it even occur? Will it cause more problems than we already have? Can we find a “safe place” to exchange the children? When it doesn’t occur when it’s supposed to, how will I help the children deal with that? When it doesn’t occur at all, how do I explain the reasons to them?
3. Getting it all done by ourselves. Sometimes one of a married parent will feel like they are doing everything alone, and in the case of spouses of military or travelers, they are probably right some of the time. Most if not all of the others just want more help, and don’t always realize that they really aren’t alone. We truly are doing everything by ourselves, from the mundane to the unusual. We are single every step of the way.
4. Getting along with your child’s mother or father (http://single-parenting.families.com/blog/you-may-need-agreements-contracts-and-established-meetings). Yes, most married couples disagree sometimes, but over all, you do get along with your spouse. In the case with exes, most of the time there is still resentment, anger, hurt feelings and pain. Imagine what it was like the last time you broke up with someone, and how you never wanted to see them or speak with them again. Then imagine you two had a child or children. You didn’t have a choice., for the sake of your children you had to see them at least once a week, if not more.
5. Controlling your anger towards your ex (http://single-parenting.families.com/blog/let-go-of-your-anger). Not quite the same as getting along with your ex. You know how it felt when you broke up with someone, and for weeks, you talked negatively about them? You just had to get it out. Down the road a month or two you would see them, and relish any negative news that you heard? You would talk about them with friends and laugh at their misfortunes? You can’t do that with your children’s other parent, because every time they hear you say something negative about their other parent, it affects them deeply.
Need some support of other single parents? How to Start a Single Parents’ Network