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Some Kids Need More Specific Guidance and Instruction

Some of us can pick up general ideas and others of us seem to be able to figure out what needs to be done or what is expected of us. As parents, we may have children like that or we may have children who need more direct instruction, minimal choices and specific guidance. If we can realize that everyone is different and adjust our parenting to be more specific, we may have better results!

I am thinking of not only children, but also people I have worked with. There have been those with whom I found communicating a breeze and those people that were such self-starters they just seemed to pick things up without much instruction at all. Most of us are not quite to that extreme, but I have also had coworkers who needed very detailed explanations and guidance for projects. They were not the sort of people who could just take a problem and fly with it, they needed structure, detailed instruction and as much information as they could gather before they would tackle a project. There are plenty of children who are exactly the same way.

As parents of this sort of child, we have to be able to stay patient and provide the structure that is needed—all while helping our child learn to take more initiative in creating this structure for himself. With these children, we need to lay things out in steps and minimize the amount of options and choices we provide. Instead of telling the child to get up and get ready for school, for example, we may need to break it down into detailed steps: “Please get out of bed and take your shower now. Then choose your clothes and get dressed.” Step-by-step the child can learn to organize her own life into steps but as parents, we may need to help her learn how to do that by giving that detail when we make requests or give instruction.

See Also: Do You Need to be More (or Less) Logical?

Teaching Kids to Calm Themselves