A couple weeks back I wrote about a show I watch on MTV called The Hills. It follows the lives of four girls as they deal with friends, careers, dating, and all the other stuff life throws at you in your early twenties.
One of the girls is Heidi. Last season she hooked up with a guy named Spencer. They had a tumultuous beginning. He seemed to be two-timing her with one of her good friends, Audrina. (Someone else the show follows.) Then when Heidi was supposed to go out of town but a last minute change kept her in L.A., she caught him at a club they like to frequent with three playmates.
She broke up with him after the playmate thing, but he wasn’t ready for them to be over. Somehow he wiggled his way back into her heart. By the end of the season, he’d cajoled her into living with him.
This season so far has focused on them adjusting to their new arrangement, which comes with pros and cons.
Pros
• They get to see a lot more of each other. Every day, first thing in the morning and last thing at night, as well as when they’re not working.
• They endure less negative outside influences –like opinions from friends and roommates. (i.e. Spencer’s personality, why they’re so serious about each other so fast, how they’re too young to be living together, etc.) For example, Heidi was living with Lauren, who not only disapproved of Spencer but despised him. She had no qualms about telling Heidi exactly what she thought of Spencer. This created a lot of friction all around. Heidi ended up having to decide between the two and she picked Spencer.
• They’re learning more about each other’s specifics likes, dislikes, and quirks. This only helps grow any bond. For instance, Heidi learned that Spencer really did know how to change the toilet paper roll and was pleasantly surprised one morning to find he’d actually used the skill for a change.
Cons
• They’re learning more about each other’s specifics likes, dislikes, and quirks. For example, what to decorate the walls of their apartment with became a mini-showdown of wills. While Heidi was at work, Spencer had what amounted to graffiti spray painted on their main wall. Heidi decided while he was out that she was going to paint over it. Neither was happy to come home and find the end result.
• They see less of their other friends. In some cases, like the one I mentioned above about Lauren, they’ve lost some of their old friends entirely.
• They’ve realized there’s nowhere else to run when they fight. They’re stuck under the same roof with each other. There’s no retreating to their separate abodes like they did when they were dating. (This can also be a pro, because they are learning how to deal with conflict and resolve their issues, but it’s more of a con at this point because neither has very effective conflict resolution skills.)
Question for Readers
Did you ever live with anyone? What happened? Did you end up marrying that person? What were the pros and cons you experienced?
Related Articles
Living Together: Test Drive for Marriage?
Living Together is NOT Like Being Married