Blessed is the parent of a stubborn child! And, in all fairness, I suppose we should light a candle or two for stubborn parents too. While I can be pretty stable, I am not particularly stubborn. I do have two children, however, for whom stubbornness is both a gift and a curse! I think we often see only the downside of a stubborn temperament, but there are some “good” things that can come from stubbornness too.
My two stubborn children are both able to be quite committed to things that matter to them. Whether it is a good friend, or a sports team, when these two decide that they are really going to do something, they are not easily swayed. I think this is a very good “side effect” of stubbornness. And, while they are both the sort of people who have a hard time letting an idea or a belief system go once they’ve latched on to it, their ability to really stick to things is admirable.
Have you ever heard the saying “like a dog with a bone”? Many of us who have stubborn children know exactly what that term means! When these kids get attached, fixated, or just decide something—they are not giving in or letting go without plenty of time, persuasion and force! Sure, this can make them tough to parent, but it can also make them loyal, devoted, and hard workers when they are completely on board with something.
The challenge for parents is learning how to appreciate this stubborn streak and provide some positive guidance. It can be something a child can use for his or her advantage and doesn’t have to be a big negative deal. One big issue can arise, however, when there is a stubborn child and a stubborn parent—this is where you can get some of those grand, glorious, dramatic power struggles!
Also: Coping With Short Tempers
Who Needs the Attitude Adjustment–You or Me?
Unconventional Kids and Unconventional Parents