Actions have consequences. It’s something we need to remember in marriage, in parenting and in all our relationships. Yet one of the biggest problems often apparent in marriages and society in general is not taking responsibility for actions.
Recently in a book I read the woman had an affair with her brother-in-law which not only impacted on her husband and their teenage daughter, but her husband’s sister and their family as well. It wasn’t a particularly good book but what it did bring out what the lack of personal responsibility. When everything went pear shaped, this woman and the man who had the affair blamed everyone else and never admitted any personal responsibility for the hurt they caused and the way things turned out.
Recently in a TV show we watched Mick made a similar comment. ’She’s the one that’s made a mess of everything and now she’s trying to blame everyone else.’ Again it highlights lack of personal responsibility.
As parents one of responsibilities is to teach children that actions have consequences. Yet too often we hear ‘It’s not my fault.’ And then follows a long list of that the other person did that provoked their reaction. It’s all about choice. Every choice whether right or wrong has consequences. If we can teach our children that at any early age, it could save them and us a lot of heartache. But they need to learn it from us.
Next time you have an argument with your spouse, before you start blaming them for what they did or didn’t do, stop a moment. Before you blame someone at work for making you angry or giving you a hard time so you came home in a bad mood, stop a moment. How about looking at you and seeing what part your choices and your attitudes had in what has happened. How about taking personal responsibility for your part in it? We can’t control other people and the things that happen to us, but we can choose how we will respond to them.
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