Last year my son’s elementary school had three bomb threats. Luckily there wasn’t a bomb, they were just threats. A few months ago a man, who had been reported driving around my sister’s neighborhood, was caught after the girl he kidnapped wouldn’t stop screaming. Last week my son brought home a note saying that a child predator has been trying to solicit children who are waiting at the bus stop and to be on the look out. So I discussed the stranger rules again with my son. Things are becoming more dangerous for our children and it is important that we discuss with them how to deal with unsafe situations.
Many children don’t realize who a stranger is. In one study children were asked to draw a picture of a stranger. In most pictures a scary looking man was drawn. When shown pictures of older people, women, or nice looking men the children said the person wasn’t a stranger; because to them a stranger is a bad person, someone who looks scary. Dr. Sherryll Kraizer, of the Coalition for Children, says that parents need to “help their children understand that there is no way to tell by the way someone looks how they are on the inside.” A stranger is any person that the child does not know.
Dr. Kraizer, in her Safe Child Program, also suggests teaching children that when they are alone it is their job to take care of themselves and keep themselves safe. This means that they can say no to an adult if the adult asks for help in any way. If an adult needs help they should ask another adult not a child.
She lists 5 stranger rules that you should teach your children to always follow:
· Stay an arms reach plus away from strangers.
· Stand up, back up and run to someone who can help you if you feel afraid.
· Don’t talk to strangers.
· Don’t take anything from strangers – not even your own things.
· Don’t go anywhere with someone you don’t know.
Practice role-playing different situations and have your child use the stranger rules.
Children may become confused when you ask them to speak to new people who are strangers. Explain that it is okay to talk to strangers when your parent or caregiver is present and they say it is all right.
Teaching your children the stranger danger rules will not guarantee their safety but it will help protect them in unsafe situations.