I’m LDS (a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or Mormon) and I believe that marriage can and should last forever. My parents were divorced when I was a teenager, and this has reinforced my determination to keep my marriage alive and not to let anything happen to destroy it. One day, though, one very bad day, I contemplated divorce. Really, truly thought about it.
We had been dealing with some issues in our marriage that didn’t originate with each other, but came along for the ride into our relationship. We had been on a rollercoaster, sometimes doing well, and other times, really suffering the consequences of this situation. On this particular day, things had come to a head, and my husband did something that offended me so badly, I did something I had sworn I’d never do. I thought about getting a divorce.
I knew I would be all right financially. We were living with my mother at the time, so housing wouldn’t be a problem. I would continue to work from home online, and I would insist on a decent alimony and child support payment. If I needed to go to work, I could have my mom watch my three young children. It all started to fall into place in my mind, and I realized that if I chose to, I could make it a reality.
But then the other ramifications dawned on me. I didn’t want my children to grow up without a father in the home. I didn’t want to face life as a single mother. And as hurt as I was, I loved my husband and I didn’t want to turn away from him. I wanted the relationship fixed, not ended.
I went in and spoke with my bishop (ecclesiastical leader) and he sat down with both of us together. He then offered to help us get marriage counseling, which we accepted. That was one of the best things we ever could have done. My husband and I both had the chance to talk out our feelings and our issues, and that was the turning point in our marriage.
I’m so happy to say that we celebrated fifteen years this last August. We added another child to our family, and are thinking about one more. We fell in love all over again, and in fact, we love each other more now than ever.
Not every bad situation will turn out this well. Sometimes things occur in a marriage that should never happen, and in cases like that, the people involved should think long and carefully about what to do. But in this case, we were able to fix it. It took counseling, listening, a lot of prayer, and a good dose of humility, but we pulled through, and we know there is hope.
Related Blogs:
Why Are More Women Walking Out?
Staying for the Sake of the Kids