Most, if not all, single parents feel guilty. The reasons behind those feelings are different from one to another, but each one has their own and feels that it’s just as an important reason for each one. Some single parents feel guilty that their children are in this situation in the first place. Some feel guilty that they can’t provide the same things for their children that their friends have. Some feel guilty about not being able to spend as much time with their children as they would like. Some feel guilty about the choices that they have to make that in turn make their children unhappy, even though the parent believes it is what’s best for the child. I do not have the time to list all of the different reasons, as I could very well be writing for the rest of my life.
The effects of the guilt a single parent feels are just as diverse as the reasons behind the guilt. A child could see or pick up on the guilt of the single parent and use that guilt against them, either to get what they want or to hurt that single parent even more. A single parent could try to make up for that guilt in ways that are unhealthy for either the parent or the child/ren. A single parent can also use their guilt to make excuses not to change the situation, “Well, it’s already the way it is, it’s too late to change now.” A single parent may also take their guilt out on their child without realizing it.
If you are feeling guilty for anything, you need to sit down and really figure out why you are feeling this way. Then you need to either realize that you are doing the best you can, and the reason you are guilty isn’t really a valid reason. If you feel that the reason you are feeling guilty is truly a valid reason, then you need to make some changes. Come up with things you can do to make changes and alleviate the guilt. Next, create a plan to follow in order to put those new things into action.
See also:
No One Likes a Martyr
Single Parents: Same Worries as Married Parents, Different Reasons
Single Parents: Different Worries