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The Kid Who REALLY Didn’t Want to Go to Church

I wonder what it says about me that I envy other parents while I’m in church?

Given that envy is a sin, you’d think I would be able to curb the green-eyed monster while attending Mass.

You’d think. But alas, I can’t help but look on in awe at the families with six, seven, and eight kids (under the age of 10), who sit like little angels in our church’s long wooden pews while my kid crawls over and around me as though someone just dumped a bunch of fire ants in her underwear.

Actually, I should give my preschooler a bit more credit. She does quite well considering her age and the length of our church’s service. My real problem is getting her out of the house and into the car to get to Mass on time.

Sundays, Holy Days and various weekdays are met with the usual preschoolish whining, procrastinating and complaining about how church is “sooooooooo boring!” My daughter’s kvetching is typically followed by the obligatory threat of taping herself to her Elmo chair so she won’t have to change into her dress.

I used to let my daughter’s griping bother me until I read about the 7-year-old boy from Utah who really disliked (and I mean really disliked) going to church.

Thankfully, my preschooler hasn’t gotten to the point where she would steal a vehicle and send police on a car chase in order to avoid attending church.

Which is more than I can say for the kid from Utah.

According to police, last Sunday the desperate 7-year-old lifted the keys to his father’s Dodge Intrepid and took to the road. Not long after the boy pulled out of his driveway dispatchers received reports of a child driving recklessly on a street roughly 45 miles north of Salt Lake City. One witness reportedly told 911 operators that the boy drove through a stop sign.

A short time later, two deputies caught up with the boy, but had difficulty getting him to stop the car. Police say the car reached 40 mph before the boy stopped in a stranger’s driveway and ran inside the home. When deputies finally confronted the boy he told them that he stole his dad’s car because he didn’t want to go to church.

Given that the boy is too young to prosecute, no citations were issued, although police say they did urge the father to make his car keys inaccessible to his church-loathing son.

Actually, that’s good advice to all parents whose kids would rather play than pray.

What’s the most outrageous thing your child has done to get out of going to church?

Related Articles:

Driven to Distraction: Behind the Wheel with a Preschooler

Charity and the Preschooler

Patience and the Preschooler

Battle Royal: Preschoolers vs. Sunscreen

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About Michele Cheplic

Michele Cheplic was born and raised in Hilo, Hawaii, but now lives in Wisconsin. Michele graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with a degree in Journalism. She spent the next ten years as a television anchor and reporter at various stations throughout the country (from the CBS affiliate in Honolulu to the NBC affiliate in Green Bay). She has won numerous honors including an Emmy Award and multiple Edward R. Murrow awards honoring outstanding achievements in broadcast journalism. In addition, she has received awards from the Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association for her reports on air travel and the Wisconsin Education Association Council for her stories on education. Michele has since left television to concentrate on being a mom and freelance writer.