My son is really into martial arts. He’s constantly spinning, jumping kicking, punching, and defeating imaginary foes. (I think they are usually Decepticons) When we finish a crate of eggs, I let him destroy the egg crate that they came in with kick, chops, and punches, as if it were a piece of wood or a block of cement. He must be Bruce Lee in his mind’s eye.
Recently a new program debuted on the History Channel called Human Weapon. In it, two fighters travel around the world studying the traditional martial arts of the countries that they visit. After about a week of studying, lessons, and conditioning, one of the fighters would have a friendly bout against a native expert in that country’s martial art.
The show is right up my son’s alley. As soon as I told him about it, he began asking me about the different types of martial arts that could be found around the world. The extent of my expertise about martial arts can be summarized by watching Neo taking on Mr. Smith, so after I began listing the martial arts that I knew as well as the country of origin for each, my knowledge on the subject was quickly exhausted. I finished the list with “Kung Fu”. Not knowing what to say next I then added, “Oh, there’s also Flick Fu”, and chuckling, I gently flicked him on the shoulder.
He laughed along with me and added a new one to the list, “Ear Fu!” and, snickering, he touched his ear into my forearm.
“Kiss Fu!” I responded as I planted one on his cheek.
“Hair Fu!” was his next idea, and, giggling, he rubbed his hair up and down my arm.
“Do you know which one is the most powerful one of all?” I asked, “Snot Fu!”
I started laughing, and then to my horror, I realized that he wasn’t laughing with me. Before I could say another word he took a deep breath and blew out of his nose. Suffice it to say that his aim was pretty darn good. That’s the last time that I ever play a silly game of ‘make up a martial art with my son again’. No doubt about it dad, parenting could totally be on Mike Rowe’s “Dirty Jobs.”