If you have been married for any length of time, you quickly come to realize that marriage has ups and downs. Sometimes the ups are more than the downs, but it can also be the other way. Or it may be that the downs seem to last longer.
The important thing is that you accept the fact that it won’t always be sunshine and roses. Sometimes people go into marriage with a certain expectation and as soon as things get difficult, they start to question if they should stay. Sometimes they don’t even take the time to question it, they just do it…they bail out.
If I were to share some of the downs of my marriage in the last 20 years, I bet there would be some of you who would ask how it is we are still married. We have gone through some pretty deep, difficult things. It was in those downs when I often questioned the ability to go on.
But the downs aren’t just the “big” issues that can rise up in a marriage. Even in the day-to-day living, you can start to go through the motions and it can feel like a real downer. You feel like it’s the same thing day after day, nothing ever changes.
That can also cause people to question whether their marriage is worth it or not. After all, don’t you have the right to be happy all of the time? Shouldn’t you expect that?
I guess I like to equate it to my relationship with my children. We have ups and downs. Sometimes the downs last longer and sometimes they seem to be more than the ups. But would I ever leave them? I couldn’t even imagine such a thing.
So why would I think about doing such a thing in my marriage? Just like I expect to have ups and downs with my children, I have to expect the same in my marriage. Which also means that just as I would never leave my children, so I would never leave my marriage.
Expect to have ups and downs in marriage. But also expect that you can make it through.
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