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There Was No Joy In Kittentown…

Confession time: I am guilty of the crime of creative cat diapering.

My friend Jenny recently got a lovely black kitten named Zoe. After a few months, it came time for Zoe to get spayed — among other things, spaying fights overpopulation, helps reduce the risk of running away and some diseases of the reproductive organs. Zoe came through her surgery with flying colors, and was soon feeling well enough to start messing with her cone.

Also known as an Elizabethan collar, the plastic cone helps prevent a pet from accessing the surgical site and stitches. Instinct tells your pet to lick a wound; the cone helps keep the surgery site lick-free.

Apparently Zoe was a stage magician and escape artist in another life — she quickly became very skilled at removing the cone from her head. The vet suggested a tube sock in lieu of the cone, so Jenny and I went to work.

I can say with confidence that my exposure to cats has been relatively limited. I have never in my life diapered a cat. So I volunteered to hold Wiggles the Wonder Cat up while Jenny tried to cram Zoe’s hindquarters into an altered tube sock (donated by Jenny’s fiancé Chris). This was not Zoe’s idea of a fun afternoon. After two attempts to slip Zoe into the sock, we gave up.

Captain Cone mocks our ability to sockify her!

My Inner MacGyver kicked in and said: why not cut the tube sock open and wrap it around her belly, then pin it? It’d be far easier than trying to squeeze a cat through a sock hole. Right? Jenny fetched the scissors, safety pins, and some surgical tape. It took a few tries, but we managed to rig up a stitches-defense-device, seen below.

Disgruntled cat in diaper.

Once we released the disgruntled kitten, Zoe called up all her acting skills. She pretended she couldn’t stand up, and did a lot of falling down and rolling around. We found the drunken cat act very entertaining, but we weren’t budging on the diaper issue. After Zoe gave up on the “I can’t walk!” tactic, she decided escape was her best option. She took a flying leap up the side of the couch, catching the arm with her widdle paws. With the vertical leap, gravity kicked in.

Oh no!  Drunken cat can't stand up!

Long story short? Cat morphed and elongated, diaper slipped off. Gravity and Zoe win, Jenny and Aimee and diaper lose. Still, it was the best laugh we’d both had in a long time.