I’m not only going to share the things that I wish I was told about adoption prior to doing it, but the things I’m glad I was told as well. Keep in mind this list pertains primarily to state adoptions:
• Whether you give birth, or adopt, if you haven’t met the child prior, you really never know what you will get in regard to special needs.
• The process of waiting and emotional ups and downs will better prepare you for the road ahead.
• Get involved with a support group! Being in one ourselves, my husband and I had a better understanding of how the system worked.
• The waiting is more difficult than I could have imagined.
• Take classes, read books, build a resume of special needs training so you will stand out among other waiting families.
• Be prepared for ignorant comments by well meaning people. It’s harder to hear a stupid remark about adoption related things when you’re emotionally wrapped up in it. Be prepared to kindly educate others.
• Know who does what in your state office. Keep your worker’s name, their supervisor, your certifier (if applicable) on hand. Once a child is placed, keep the child’s worker’s contact information on hand in addition to their supervisor, the child’s CASA, and attorney.
• The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Check in and make sure your case worker never forgets who you are.
• It is typical for families to go to more than one committee or staffing before they are selected to be parents.
• There are vast resources online including state policies, and online support groups where you can ask questions.
• Spend lots of time with your spouse or family prior to the adoptive placement because your life will truly change.
• I found a deeper appreciation for my children as a result of what my husband and I went through to get them. In addition, I found a love that I didn’t know existed before becoming a mom.
Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog