My children aren’t changing for my sake. I get that. After all the struggles and years of trying to sway them to my way of thinking and acting, I know that they are pretty much going to be the marvelous original people that they are destined to be. And, while I get that in my head and brain, I don’t necessarily always appreciate it and I still let plenty of things they do bug me!
One of my daughters is pretty darn slovenly. Now, I no longer take her blatant messiness personally as I did when she was much younger (ah, I was convinced she was leaving everything strewn about on purpose just to spite me!), but I find it hard to remain Zen when stepping over her shoes, book bag and dirty dishes. I’ve tried everything from confiscating stuff, providing an uber-organized system for her use, and plenty of threats and grumbles. She doesn’t see what she’s doing as messy; she sees it as “comfort.” To her, my “clean freakishness” is just as much an affront to her well-being as her sloppiness is to mine. I know she is not likely going to change before she packs her messy boxes and crosses the threshold into the great big world, and yet I let it get to me and find myself scooping and slamming when her mess spreads just a little too far and wide.
Other things that bug me: Putting a nearly-empty milk container or juice pitcher back in the fridge with one swallow of beverage left in it (the same goes with empty packages of deli-meat and nearly empty containers of any and every kind of condiment); coming home from the grocery store to find a fresh list with two or three items written on it; and kids letting me know the “day of” that they need: money, a signed permission slip, a gift for the teacher, WHATEVER—at the very last possible moment.
Okay, I know that I need to just let go. After all, I’m the one getting heart palpitations here and I know that my kids will be all grown up and flown from the nest sooner than these issues will likely be miraculously resolved. I know I shouldn’t let these infractions bug me…but they do!