We often write about single parenting from the point of view of those single parents who see their kids often and have the primary role and responsibility of parenting. But there are so many different kinds of custody arrangements out there. Some single parents are “summer only” single parents–the child or children arrive at the end of the school year and after three months, just when things start to settle in, it is time for the separation again and sending everyone back to the way things are for the school year.
It can be challenging to be a long-distance parent for most of the year and then get to do the full-time parenting in the summer months. For one thing, unless you have a job where you have summers off, you still have to work while the kids are on vacation. Juggling and coordinating summer schedules, camps, play dates, and making sure that you get plenty of normalized and quality time to spend with your child can be tough.
Additionally, kids can change so much during a school year, the summer only parent my find that the first month is spent just trying to catch up on everything that has changed over the school year. The more connected you remain and the more open the communication is during the other nine months of the year can help make the summer transition a little easier. But, you’ve got the transition IN to summer and then, now, you’ve got the transition OUT and back to their “other life” for the school year.
Be patient with yourself and expect that you will have mixed feelings–you may be both looking forward to having your “non-child” life back and feeling intense pain at sending your child back to his or her other parent for the school year. Sometimes, tempers flair and tension rises since neither the child or parent knows how to deal with the conflicting emotions. Things can also change as the child gets older. Adolescents may not be as thrilled with the summer/school year plan as they were when they were younger. Give yourself plenty of time and space and compassion–as well as the same for your child–to adjust and transition to the ending of another summer.
Also: How Flexible do You Have to Be With Your Custody Arrangements?
Sharing and Coordinating Vacations