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Those Little Things Do Matter

Sometimes in marriage it’s not the big earth shattering events that become the problem. Yes, I have heard of marriages that fall apart because of major events like illness, the death of child, dealing with infertility or with a disabled child, but other times it is the little things that build up over the course of a day or week or longer which cause the problem. .

The other day was one of those days where things continually went wrong. You know the kind I mean, where you forget things or things slip through your hands and shatter on the floor, or you get stuck in a traffic jam and end up late to where you need to be, etc.

Often this build up of myriad little things going wrong can be very wearing on personal patience. What happens then is we often snap and take it out on those closest to us, our spouse and family. Why? I suspect there are two reasons. One is because they are there. The second is because we know we can get away with it.

We know they will still love us and forgive us and not turn away from us. But maybe next time before we start to go down this track we need to stop and think. Why should they be required to take our bad temper, anger, irritability and sharp words? Why don’t we treat our spouse and family with the same courtesy we show to others?

Part of it is we feel we can say what we like to spouse family and close friends. As someone said once after an honest but stinging comment was delivered, ‘You only say things like that to your friends. You wouldn’t say them to people you didn’t like.’ Because we know others wouldn’t let us get away with it. What sort of warped logic is that?

Surely that’s exactly the reason why we should treat our spouse, family and friends with more kindness, sensitivity, love and respect. This week why not make n effort to out this into practice in our marriages and see what a difference it makes.

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