One of the realities of single parenthood is that we often have our child or children as our constant companions. We eat together, run errands together, and when children are young or during times of stress, our kids will often even camp out in our bedrooms. Even though we parents may want a little alone time, it can be hard to carve out that time and even harder to justify. If we work all day, we may feel absolutely obligated to spend every other spare moment with our child. Alone time is not a crime, however, and we really are entitled to do some things alone.
Years ago, when I was first a single parent, it seemed that everything I did involved at least one other person. I didn’t even get to take my shower or bath alone! Since my children were so young, I either had to wait until they were all asleep, get up earlier, or bathing had to be a group project so that I could make sure no one got into trouble. I remember thinking that the only alone time I got was my 10 minute commute to work after dropping the kids off and the 10 minutes across town on the way home to pick them up. Going to the restroom alone at work felt like such a treat and a perk!
We are not bad parents if we want some time alone! Boundaries and space are healthy and reasonable. I think that two-parent families have some of those boundaries and space built in by the very nature of having a primary adult relationship—whereas we single parents spend so much time being available to our kids that carving out some time alone sometimes feels like betrayal or irresponsibility. It isn’t. I promise that doing some of those basic things alone will actually make you feel like a better parent and will put a little space and perspective into your day.
Also: Loneliness is Normal (But Not Necessary)
Fun is Okay for a Single Parent Too
Cherish Yourself First (Don’t Lose Yourself in Your Kids)