I’m sure you noticed I haven’t posted anything to this blog for a little while. I haven’t been sick or on vacation – I’ve been fat, and I’ve been too ashamed to blog about it.
You see, when writing about weight issues on such a public forum, you’re really opening yourself up to criticism. It doesn’t come – you are all too nice to do that – but the fear of it is still there. What if I blog and tell everyone about the five pounds I lost and put back on? Will they think I’m a failure? It’s hard, when you’ve made a public announcement of intent to lose weight, to fail.
I actually had a really positive experience with weight loss a couple of weeks ago. I went on a fruit diet, eating huge amounts of fruit all day, with a large salad and protein for dinner, and I dropped nine pounds in a week and a half.* It was fabulous. But for some reason, I backslid, and I backslid in a major way.
It all happened because I told myself, “One little bit won’t hurt.” Well, one little bit does hurt, because it opens the door to another, and another, and another little bit until you’re gone totally off the wagon and gained back the weight you lost, which I did.
And so I’ve come to an important conclusion.
I’m a pickle.
In Josi Kilpack’s novel “Tempest Tossed,” when her character goes in for treatment for her drug addiction, she is told that she is a pickle and will never be a cucumber again. Translated: she’s an addict, and she will have to live the life of an addict forever. She can’t even tamper with drugs, or she’ll be right back in the trap she was before. She has to be on her guard to watch for every little temptation.
I guess I’m a chocolate pickle.
No, it doesn’t sound delicious, does it? But I’m coming to the realization that for me, one bite of chocolate leads to another, and another, and another, until I’ve inhaled the entire candy bar section at the grocery store. I’m swearing off chocolate.
Ouch – it hurt to say that. But for my health, it’s what I need to do.
I promise to blog faithfully every Monday, whether my weight is up or down. If it’s up, I’ll take accountability for my actions. If it’s down, I’ll celebrate, and you can celebrate right along with me.
Tristi Pinkston is a full-time media and movie reviews blogger here on Families.com. You can read more of her blogs here.
*As a side note, this fruit diet is intended for use for two weeks only and is not a recommended way of life.
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