I was recently thinking about a couple of decisions that my husband and I had to make concerning two of our children. In one situation the decision was favorable for that child but for the other it wasn’t. They were two entirely different circumstances but it got me thinking about the motivation behind the decisions we make as parents.
Have you ever really thought about what motivates you to make a decision?
Sometimes you are motivated by your mood at the moment. If you are in a bad mood, you might be quick to make a decision that you wouldn’t normally make. Later you might regret it but it could be too late.
Or you might make decisions based on what you think others would do. After all, you don’t want to look bad as a parent, right? In an effort to “look good,” you may be basing your decisions on what you think will go over with other people.
You could make decisions based on your standards, beliefs and morals. There are some things that you just won’t compromise on because of this.
Decisions can also be made in the heat of the moment. Before there is a chance to calmly and rationally discuss the situation, you have made your choice.
Sometimes parents just seem to have this “knowing” in their heart, what the right decision is. It is based purely on what you truly believe is best.
I have made decisions in parenting in all of these areas at one time or another. I have let my mood dictate my decisions. I have allowed my fear of what others would think form my decisions. I have made decisions based on our values. I have made decisions without taking time to discuss things.
And I have made decisions knowing it was the right thing.
Well here is what I have decided. I want to make fewer decisions based on my mood, what others think and the heat of the moment…because the outcome isn’t usually good.
Instead, I am going to make a concerted effort to take the time to stop and think. I am going to base my decisions on what I know in my heart is right and what lines up with our beliefs as a family.
Has this gotten you thinking about the decisions you make as a parent? I know it is challenging me.
Photo by desi.italy in Flickr