An often overlooked area in a marriage is the influence it has upon the children. Have you ever really thought about the message you are sending your children concerning marriage?
Marriage isn’t just about two people if you have children. Your marriage is a huge factor in decisions they will make in the future, including what to look for in a mate.
How you treat your spouse speaks volumes to our children. If boys see their father as an overbearing, cruel husband…what do you think is going to happen when that little boy grows up?
If girls see their mothers always nagging at their husbands and never satisfied with anything …what type of wife do you suppose she will be? We cannot underestimate the power of our marital influence.
This causes me to really sit back and think about the way I relate to my husband. Do I talk down to him? Do I say unkind things about him when he isn’t around? Do I devalue him in any way?
My children are watching. I don’t want them to go down the wrong path when it’s their time to marry simply because I chose to look at my marriage as something only between my husband and me.
I am by no means a perfect wife or mother. But every-once-in-a-while I get rewarded in such a way that I can say, “I guess I’m not so bad after all.” You know how easy it can be to tear ourselves down, to beat ourselves up for not attaining what others think we should be or what we put on ourselves.
Well about a month ago I received such a reward when my 18-year-old son said to me, “When I get married, I want her to be like you.” Talk about realizing the impact you make. And to know that it’s been a positive one.
Like I said, I am by no means perfect. There are times I don’t use a very kind tone toward my husband. There are times I complain about him to the children. Yes, I am guilty of doing wrong things.
But I am always striving…and always trying to keep in the back of my mind that my children are watching. Your marriage is a huge influence upon them…what are they learning from it?
Photo by Jessica Merz in Flickr