Sometimes it’s not what you say to your teen that speaks to them the most…it is what you don’t say. Your nonverbal communication could be saying something you don’t realize.
Maybe you hear your teen say that you never listen. I know it’s been said in my home.
But it can look like we aren’t listening if we aren’t looking at our teen when he or she is talking. If you continue to type away, wipe away, put away or whatever it is that you are doing…your nonverbal communication is really saying, “I’m not listening.”
Or maybe your teen has made comments that you are always grumpy. Sometimes my youngest son will ask, “What’s wrong?” I tell him nothing is wrong. “Why do you ask?” And he goes on to say that I look crabby.
Yes, our facial expression could be saying we aren’t happy. Even if nothing is wrong, it can come across that way. So one way to combat this (and will make you feel better if you aren’t happy), is to smile. In fact, smile as much as you can.
Here is another nonverbal form of communication that can come across wrong…your tone of voice. The pitch and volume of what you are saying can completely change the course of a conversation.
Do you use a lot of hand gestures? Wildly flailing your arms, pointing your finger, crossing your arms and other movements don’t usually come across as something positive. Instead, use other nonverbal gestures such as nodding your head or giving thumbs up.
Touch is another nonverbal form of communication that can speak love to your teen. Pats on the back, tousling of the hair, a hug…these are forms of affection that teens not only need but crave.
Yes, even when they act like they don’t, or they shrug it off. Don’t let them fool you.
What has your nonverbal communication been speaking to your teen?
Related Articles:
More Lessons on Learning to Listen
http://parenting.families.com/blog/more-lessons-on-learning-to-listen
Asking, Not Telling
http://parenting.families.com/blog/asking-not-telling
Ready to Talk
http://parenting.families.com/blog/ready-to-talk
Photo by Katie Tegtmeyer in Flickr