Does the lady at the cosmetic counter or at the hair salon know more about your kid’s adoption story than your child? Okay, what about the neighbor next door? It’s too easy for me to forget that my kids’ personal stories are not all mine.
Adoption is something we are very open about in our home. My husband and I worked very hard to adopt our children and are proud of the way our family was formed. Like any other mom that has given birth to her child, I enjoy sharing the story of how my boys came into my world. I am proud of what they’ve overcome and what miracles they truly are. But there does need to be a line drawn between it being my story and my children’s stories. That’s a tough one for me!
I really have a heart for other families going through, or have completed their adoptions. As a result I have been active on a few online forums, and a local support group. I find myself using the stories of my kids’ struggles to relate to and hopefully help others. How much of what I say should be kept private? I’m still working on this one.
What I do know is it would be a shame for my boys to hear about their history from someone who wasn’t a party to their case. It’s not fair to them. I certainly wouldn’t want someone telling me very personal details about how I came into existence or state care that didn’t even know me. It’s so important to respect that our kids have rights to their privacy too. It’s not right to air your spouse’s dirty laundry so why do it to your child?
Online, I’ve committed to the anonymity of my boys by leaving out their first names and our last name. I appreciate the people here who know me personally and have supported this. Respecting my boys’ privacy is something I have to work on daily. Just because I can be an open book doesn’t give me the right to make them one.
(Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog)