It can be difficult to define what a lack of normal attachment might look like, most adoptive parents will tell you it is one of those things you just know when you see it. Once we learn enough about attachment adoptive parents usually, feel pretty good about their child’s attachment, or terrified about the implications there may be some kind of disorder.
The lists below outline some of the psychological or behavioral problems that may be seen in a child who lacks normal attachment:
- A child may not show the normal level of anxiety after an aggressive or cruel behavior.
- A child may not show guilt about breaking rules or laws.
- A child may project and blame things on others.
- A child may exhibit poor self control or depend on others to provide external controls on their behaviors.
- A child may show a lack of foresight.
- A child may have a poor attention span.
- A child may be unable to have fun or enjoy the moments.
- A child may view himself or herself as undeserving or unworthy.
- A child may seem themselves as unable to change.
- A child may not feel proud of satisfied with a task done well.
- A child may not trust anyone.
- A child may demand affections but is unable to have a genuine relationship with others.
- A child may have a hostile dependency.
- A child may have a difficult time in social situations and be socially immature.
- A child may need to control every situation.
- Children may have trouble understanding and labeling their own feelings.
- Children may have difficulty expressing their own feelings appropriately. Especially, feelings of anger, sadness and frustration.
- Children may be unable to recognize the feelings in other people.
Attachment is a huge subject with many different aspects. Attachment disorders are unique to the child who is experiencing the difficulty. Just because a child may have symptoms of attachment disorders it is important to remember in most cases children do heal from them, and in rare cases they are very serious.